


Betrayl, Pain and Love

by crazydepths



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brothers, Drama, Family, M/M, Multi, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-06-17 21:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15470343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazydepths/pseuds/crazydepths
Summary: What would you think if a person that's really important to you betrays you? Would you be hurt, angry or just disappointed? This story is about the break-up of the shield and all the emotions (I'm imagining) that took place. Why did Seth leave? How can Roman keep his family together? And what is up with Dean? Is there more to the pain in his eyes than just the betrayal of a loved one? Questions so many Question and no satisfying answer. Come on and see what happens!





	1. A riddle called Dean Ambrose

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you'll enjoy my little story. Here is the first chapter. Just let me know how I did.  
> This is a re-post from fanfiction.net with an updated version.  
> A very special thanks to my friend Akasha for proofreading. You are the best girl. :-*  
> And now dive in.

Seth stared at the script for the new storyline. He couldn't believe what he read.

'WTF! Are they nuts? What is the purpose of that? No way, I am going to do that. I caused enough damage!' He thought to himself and was on his way out so he could talk to Stephanie.  
He walked down the hallways and his mind slipped to the target of the new script and his heart started to ache. As he reached the door of Steph's office he heard voices but he still knocked forcefully on the same one and opened it. Seth was so angry with the climax of the new storyline and so he started talking without checking who else was in her office.

"Steph, what the hell are you thinking? That storyline is insane you can't make me do this! I won't hurt him anymore. I told you that I never meant to hurt him as much as I did. How could you let them write such a story when you knew I would never agree? He has been through enough. More than you will ever know! So would you please explain yourself to me?"

"Seth, and a good day to you too. What is your problem? First of all, I don't owe an explanation to anybody. And second, we didn't make this story up by ourselves. The top event in four weeks was his idea. So would you explain to ME, what's bothering you, Seth?" She pointed at a corner of her office. Seth's eyes followed the invisible line that her finger drew. When his eyes reached their destination he was shocked. He inhaled deeply. 

"Dean?" That was everything he got out. 'Is this supposed to be a sick joke? Why would Dean suggest a match that could end his career? Why would he want to get his head driven through some cinderblocks? Why? Why? WHY? Would he ever be able to figure out the riddle what he called Dean Ambrose's mind?' All of those burning questions are running through Seth's head. He knew that Dean loves his job more than anything else. Dean always says that he owes pro-wrestling, he probably owed that sport his life. Seth pushed his thoughts away and fought back the tears pooling in his eyes. "You came up with that insane match in four weeks? Do you want to die or something?" Seth asks in a very bitter voice.

Dean was still shocked by Seth's words. He couldn't believe that the other man was still thinking about him. Him and his feelings. Dean couldn't bring himself to forgive Seth that he took on that storyline a few months ago and kept quiet about it. Seth and he had a lot of matches or you might say fights against each other. He had two reasons for it. Dean didn't want to see his other "brother" in pain too often when Roman had to fight Seth. Roman and Seth are still very close. They are working out together, watching football at Seth's house and calling each other to see how they've been doing. So he stood up for them as Steph asked a little after the break up who will be the one holding the grudge against Seth and fight him more often than the other. Rome had thanked him for that over and over and over. And the other reason was that he was broken. Broken in every imaginable way . . . physically, mentally and emotionally. He was done… done with thinking, done with hoping and done with hurting. He wanted to bury himself in a dark hole and never come out of there again.

Finally, he looked at Seth and said in a cocky voice. "Sounds like fun. Dying … I never tried that!" He crooked an eyebrow and half smiled at the shock in Seth's face. "Steph, would you mind if we sign a contract on the final match in four weeks. I don't want that sly snake to bail out on the main event." Now Seth and Steph, both of them were shocked at his demand. "I won't sue you or anything if something goes wrong. I promise. Neither one of you!" Dean said in a very confidential and serious voice.

He pulled out a piece of blank paper from Stephanie's printer. He wrote a brief note about the following four weeks. Then he showed it to Stephanie for her approval. She nodded and signed the paper. She also put an official seal of the WWE on the head of the paper and in the middle of the back. She handed it back to Dean. Stephanie's eyes wandered from him to Seth. She wanted to get up and pull the two-tuned man in a tight hug. She turned to Dean again and spoke with a shaky voice. 

"You're still damn sure about the end of this fight and I still don't like it. Dean, please tell me what I have to do to change your mind. Your behavior is irrational and you know it yourself. Dean, that stunt could end your career or even your life. I've been telling you this for weeks." 

She needed Seth to know that she didn't have anything to do with it and already tried to get Dean to listen to her. Dean started to hit his chest with his bare hand. He rolled his eyes at her and said. "Like I said all those other times . . . I FUCKING don't care." He started to get really pissed. Seth had to sign this paper god damn fast or he would lose it right there. He walked over to Seth and looked him in the eyes for the first time in weeks. It hurts, it hurts so much! Dean thought Seth could see his very soul breaking inside of him. His eyes turned into a determent and scary glare. "You know I don't trust you anymore. But I know you're freaking good at your job. So the only thing I am asking for is that you do the best you've ever done." He handed Seth the paper and said a little calmer than before but with a hint of despair in his voice. "Let's make it like you've always wanted. Big! Dramatic! Breathtaking and heart-stopping! Followed by a 'WTF'!" 

Steph inhaled deeply. Now it was Seth's turn to wonder about the man looking at him with that frozen eyes. Dean still knew that. He'd told Dean that he wanted an epic fight over three years ago. Seth took a deep breath and fought the urge of shoving Dean back against the wall to knock some sense into him. "Dean…!" He was cut off by those frozen eyes that didn't suit Dean at all. He missed the caring, warm eyes from him. He knew it was his fault. All of it! Everything! But he would never admit that to his brothers. At least not yet. Dean whispered into Seth's ear after he moved slowly closer. "Just sign the paper and do your job." Seth knew Dean too well so he obeyed. He took the paper and signed without taking his eyes of Dean who exhaled loudly as he saw the younger man signing. Dean mumbled a quiet thanks and walked out of Steph's office. 

"I'm so sorry, Seth. I tried my best to get him to listen to me but . . ." She didn't know how to finish the sentence. "It's not your fault, Steph. Don't blame yourself. I need to talk to him though. Maybe I can get through to him." 

Seth turned around and ran after Dean. He caught up with him just before he would walk into the cafeteria. Seth grabbed his shoulder and said. "Dean, I need to talk to you. Now! Roof or basement? Your choice." Dean looked at his so-called brother and answered. "Roof, so I can practice dying for crying out loud." Seth looked into his eyes and couldn't hide the fact that he was hurt by this answer.

Roman, who was waiting for Dean, caught the whole incident. He didn't know what was going on but he thought it would be best if he followed. Although he gave them space to talk in private. He just wanted to make sure they wouldn't fight on the roof. Dean's saying about dying wasn't new to him. After the whole mess that Seth left them in, Dean was broken and hurt beyond words. Roman would call or text him every single day just to know if Dean was still breathing. Roman didn't know how to help his brother except being there for him. He promised himself he would see Dean's infectious smile again! No matter what! Roman had tried so hard to get his two baby brothers to talk to each other but nothing worked. After Dean told him why he couldn't bring himself to see Seth's actions only as a business act he stopped pushing the issue. 

Roman kept his distance but followed his brothers up the stairs to the rooftop. Dean leaned on the wall right next to the door and Seth walked a couple more steps to the center of the roof so he could feel the wind. Dean glared at that beautiful man for a moment. He missed being with both of his brothers. His family. Yeah family, because his own family was too messed up to mean anything to him. But he wasn't here to dream about some 'what if's'. So he puts a foot on the wall, which he was leaning against, and asks in a cold voice. "What do you want, Rollins? I ain't got all day. You wanted to talk, so talk already!"

"Would you fucking tell me what is wrong with you? What riddle is stuck in your mind now and how can I figure it out? You can't be serious. This stunt is some dangerous shit and I don't want to hurt you or even be the reason for the end of your career. So tell me, what I need to do to stop you?" Seth couldn't hold back all of his tears but he still looked in Dean's eyes. That simple act calmed Dean down and his eyes were so clear. Seth was so worried about one of his best friends. Even if Dean didn't feel the same way anymore but he still cared for him. He actually cared very deeply about the lunatic. 

"Dean, please! Please, let me change your mind." 

Roman got his hopes up for a brief moment. Maybe Seth could smash some sense into the difficult mind of Dean Ambrose.


	2. "Choices and Consequences"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what will happened after Seth found out about the upcoming events? Will he be able to talk some sense into the Lunatic? Will Roman be there for both of his brothers? Choices are always followed by consequences!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll enjoy my little story. Here is the second chapter. Just let me know how I did.

Dean looked into Seth's eyes and wanted nothing more than to believe that he still cared. But he knew that life never treated him kind so he just couldn't. He's been through enough. His crappy childhood, the years when he started working, the wrong turns he took and now this whole chaos with Seth. No way, he could let himself be the one who got hurt again. Dean didn't know if he was able to hide his true feelings but he knew he had to try. He slid down the wall in a seated position and told Seth with an emotionless and cold voice. "You don't want to hurt me. What could you do to change my mind? Hmmm! Let me see? How about turning back the time? To the day when we met. And remind me that I shouldn't talk to you so we never become friends. Can you do that for me, Thie?" All the bitterness in his voice was almost too much to bear for both of them. Calling Seth by his nickname was hurting so badly. Dean thought his heart was torn from his chest. Seth was shaking in pain as he heard the nickname Dean always used for him in the good old times.  
This sentence brought Roman back to reality and that little spark of hope he had was gone. 'Damn it, how could I help my brothers? Both of them.' Because he knew they were both in pain. Up till now, he had no clue. "Dean, please. I get that you're still pissed even if I don't know why. But you got to listen to me and cut your show I can see right through it. This crap you're talking here is nothing but bullshit. If you have to lie then think of something more believable. I am sorry for…" No matter how hard Seth tried, Dean could see that he was hurt by his harsh words. His soul shattered, again and again, to see him like this. It was even worse because he knew he was the one who caused that pain in Seth's eyes. But he had to play his part further. "You're sorry? Seth, you know most of the shit in my so-called life. I trusted you like I never trusted anyone before. And all you did was ripping out my heart and shove it down my own throat. Just to show me that I shouldn't expect something good in life." He smashed his head into the wall behind him with every word he spoke. "Dean that is not true. You didn't want to talk to me anymore. Don't put this all on me. And stop that!" Seth took a step towards Dean but when he saw his eyes, he froze in his movement. "You are telling me I shouldn't blame you? I can't believe you. Seth, you wanted more and more. I wouldn't have stopped you if you wanted to go and play the 'big dog' in the business if you would have talked to us. Neither would have Rome and you know that. I knew you can be self-centered but this was too much. Do you have any idea or how much pain and doubt you brought to me and especially to Rome? He thinks he has to prove to me that I can count on him. He feels guilty about hanging out with you and the knowledge that it hurts me. He is sitting in the middle of this whole mess we are in. Stop making this all about you. There are other people that are affected by your actions and don't try to talk your way out of it. You brought this upon us. You might be hurting too even if I doubt that." Dean couldn't control his temper anymore even if he was talking in an icy static voice. He still smashed his head into the wall behind him. His hands were clenched into fists so hard that his knuckles turned white. He got up from his seated position still smashing his head into the hard, cold wall behind him. He wanted to throw some punches.  
All of a sudden he felt a large hand between his head and the wall and a strong arm across his chest. "Dean, shh, calm down. I know you don't want to hurt him and please stop hitting your head." Roman's deep and calm voice went straight to Dean's head. He stopped immediately. He looked in Rome's eyes and asked in a low voice. "How long are you here already? Did you hear what we were talking about?" He saw in the taller man's face that he was moved by the words he heard a couple of minutes ago. Roman didn't mean to spy on his brothers but their voices increased with each spoken word. Dean had to fight the emotions within him. Anger. Hurt. Pain. Resignation. Rage. Roman pulled him closer to give his brother some comfort and petted his head carefully. He turned around to look at Seth who was shocked to see Dean in Roman's arms as he tried to calm down. Roman smiled weakly at Seth and said in a friendly voice. "It is better if you leave now. I will see you tomorrow around 10 am at the gym. I think it's better if you give Dean his space now. I don't know exactly why you two were arguing but I have to make sure this is not getting out of hands. So, bye Seth. See you tomorrow." The tall Samoan turned back to look at Dean and told him soothing words. "How are you feeling, Dee? Do you think I can let go of you, without you doing something stupid? If you are ready I will take you home, okay?" Dean nodded carefully and said. "Rome, you can let go of me. But let me smoke a cigarette before I come down to the parking lot. Would you mind getting my duffle bag from the locker room? I will smoke and meet you at your car. I need a moment to breathe." Dean spoke very quietly because his throat was very dry. He was shaken by all of his emotions. He looked at Roman for his friend's approval. Roman nodded. "No trouble at all, bro. Take your time. I will wait by the car."  
Then Dean looked over to see Seth staring at him. It hurts him to see his former best friend so confused. "Seth … uh, it's okay … just go. I know we can do it. You have one more dream come true and I have my peace. Give me at least this much credit. I know this stunt is crazy but you should know me by now." Dean told Seth those words even though he wasn't sure if they were true. Seth looked at Dean and nodded. "Dean, are you sure? Do you think we can pull this stunt off?" He spits out his concerns. The other man pulled out a package of cigarettes and nodded. "Just leave me alone for a while. See you Thursday." He said it without looking at Seth as he lit his cigarette. Roman pulled on Seth's arm and said. "Come on, we're leaving. Like he said, give him some credit. He is the one of us who had the craziest matches. And you know it. We've seen some shit of Dean's hardcore and death matches. Let's go. Meet you by the car, Dean."  
After the two long-haired men left Dean closed his eyes and let go of a few silent tears. Why was his life so fucked up? All he wanted was to believe Roman and Seth. He had no one left he could trust. He was tired and confused and broken. His heart was broken by the first person he truly loved and this certain someone had betrayed him. He really needed a break so bad. He pulled out a second cigarette after he stomped out the first one. He hadn't told even Rome what else was going on in his life. He didn't know why this shit was affecting him so much. He looked up at the sky one last time and then he left the rooftop to meet Rome by his car.  
When Dean arrived at the parking lot he saw that Roman was sitting in his car and talking on the phone. He knocked carefully on the side window of the passenger seat. Roman looked to his right and signified Dean to hop in. "Okay honey. Yes, I will pick up some milk on my way home. And I will ask Dean. Don't treat me like a kid. I am your husband for crying out loud. Ha, ha … that is true. Love you, Lis. See you in a bit." Roman closed his cell and looked at Dean. "Family, man. I hope you don't mind stopping at the Giant. Lisa wants me to pick up some milk. Oh, and I'm supposed to ask you if you would like to join us for dinner. Lisa and Leila would love to see you again." Dean smiled at his friend and said with some pain in his voice. "Hey Rome, first hold close the ones you love and don't take them for granted. Second, I don't mind stopping to get some milk. I actually need some soda. And third, as much as I admire your wife and love your daughter, I don't think I'm a suitable company today. Please tell Lisa, I am sorry. I will make it up to her. Just bring me home after we got the milk and the soda." The young man's eyes were filled with pain and his brother was confused by his words.  
"Dean, what's up with you? Such words of wisdom from you." Roman couldn't believe those words that came out of Dean's mouth. He felt that there was more to Dean's pain than just the mess with Seth and his feelings for the other man. Dean closed his eyes and answered in a pretended cocky voice. "Maybe I have a clear moment every once in a while." He grinned at Roman and petted the shoulder of his friend. "Dean, drop this attitude. You know I am your friend if there is something you want to talk about I am here for you." Roman looked worried in the blue eyes of his friend. Dean smiled weakly and nodded so Roman started the car. They got the milk and the soda at the Giant. And then Roman brought Dean to his home. "Thanks, Rome, you're the best. I wish you a good work out tomorrow and say greetings to Lisa and Leila. Take care, man. See you Thursday." Dean gave Roman a hug and climbed out of the car with the soda in his hand and his duffle over the shoulder.  
"Dean? Are you sure you want to pull off that stunt? Do you think you're up to it? Don't get me wrong. I know it's nothing compared to the shit you did a couple years back. But I can feel that there is more going on in your head, than what you are telling me. So please, let me help you! I am your friend and I'll be there for you. You don't have to go through this all by yourself. And don't you worry about me so much. Of course, I don't like it that you and Seth are still not over the whole mess and I have to share my spare time between you and him. But you should know that I wouldn't keep up with that bullshit if I wouldn't be sure you two are my very best friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know how you like it so far.  
> Hugs to you all!


	3. Apologies and worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, on their day off Roman and Seth hit the gym. They talk about Dean and Roman can't believe his Baby brother won't believe him.  
> Is the truth too far or is Seth just denying?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Do you think Roman can help his brothers? Or will Dean just break apart completely? And is Seth really just a selfish brat? Go ahead and find out in the next chapter. Thanks for reading.  
> I hope you enjoyed it as much as I had while I was writing it.  
> Hugs to all of you. Take care!
> 
> A very special thanks to my friend Akasha for proofreading. You are the best girl. :-*

Dean couldn't believe that Roman still tried to convince him, that he was his friend. He had to make clear that he didn't doubt that Roman was his friend. So he said in an honest and clear voice. "I know you are my best friend, so stop telling me that all the time. I know you will always be there for me. If I just could swallow my damn pride then you wouldn't be in so much pain. I am sorry that we are making you do that. Splitting your rare free time between us, instead of being all together and have as much fun as we used to. Rome, I am really sorry that you have to keep up with my mood swings and that you have to keep quiet about the whole thing. And about the other thing that is going on in my life. I will tell you if I have the urge to get it off my chest. Right now, I have to process the entire situation, okay? I have to thank you for being such a great friend." Roman blushed and waved it off. Dean made him feel even more uneasy. He knew that he always spent more time with Seth than with Dean, which was the reason why he felt so guilty. Because it was true that Dean needed him more than Seth. Dean was in so much more pain than his other 'brother'. He wanted everything to be like it used to be. All three of them together. "Okay, Dean. No need to thank me. Take your time and if there is anything I can do for you just let me know. Love you, man. Take care. See you Thursday.“

As his beloved 'brother' left the driveway he unlocked the door of his apartment and walked in. He didn't even bother to turn on the lights. He enjoyed the silent darkness. Dean was always calm when it was dark. He pinned it on his childhood and the way his stepfather used to punish him when he was drunk. All of a sudden some very painful memories washed over him. Dean walked into his bedroom and headed towards his closet. He pulled out a box and opened it to grab an old photo album. Hot tears were rolling down his face as he opened it and looked at his favorite pic. The light, that came from outside through his window, was enough for him to see. He missed that boy that was standing next to him with that big smile on his face and an arm wrapped tight around his waist in that photo. He whispered a silent "I am so sorry." It was almost too quiet to be heard even for himself. He took that album and went into the kitchen to get himself a drink. He didn't like to drink his sorrows away but today was too much to deal with. The blue-eyed man took a bottle of Gin and a bottle of Tonic out of the fridge and strolled to the couch in the living room. He turned on the little lamp on one of the side tables. The first drink was always the worst for him because everything was so clear. Seth's eyes . . . Roman's honesty . . . the old memories of his best friend from childhood days and the fucking pain over something he thought that it would never affect him so much. He poured the second drink into the glass and skipped through the album. He would wake up with a hell of a hangover because he started to pour only gin in his glass. But he didn't care. Dean wanted to sleep so badly. Just a deep dreamless good night sleep. He kept the drink close and let the pain be drained away.

Next morning around 9.30 am. Roman was talking on the phone to Seth. He wanted to know if he should pick up his 'brother' or meet him at the gym. "You were serious yesterday? You really want to work out with me?" Seth asked in a slightly sleepy voice. Roman chuckled. "Are you still in bed, you little brat? Come on, move it, Seth. I will be there in 15 minutes to pick you up and then I'll rip your sleepy ass. I'm going to bench you to hell, Sethie." The challenge was set and Seth was wide awake as he listened to Roman. "You wish, you big piece of muscle. I'll bench at least 10 pounds more than you. Don't worry I will be waiting outside for you. See you in a bit." He knew that he wouldn't beat Mr. Powerhouse at the bench and snickered. Seth closed his cell and jumped out of bed. He put on some shorts, a wife beater, and the running shoes, he always used for the workouts with Roman. He didn't sleep very well after he had heard the words Dean had thrown at him. Why would his action affect Dean or Roman? It was his choice. But when he saw that Roman was moved by Dean's words he was very confused. Something else didn't let him sleep either. Seeing Dean and Rome so close . . . in each other's arms. Why did it hurt so much to see Dean in someone else's arms? He had no fucking right to be jealous. He left so he wouldn't have to be so close to Dean. He didn't want to scare the other man away with his unexpected feelings. He hadn't told anyone yet. It tore his heart apart every time he saw him and the beloved blue eyes. He wanted nothing more than to be with Dean and tell him that he was so sorry for being such a selfish coward.

-At the gym.-

They were still in the middle of their warm up. Seth watched Roman very closely. Something was different today. No cheap comments that he was a slow-moving worm that needs to speed up. Or some cocky eyes that told him he would never beat Mr. Powerhouse. Seth mustered up all the courage he could find in him and asked his 'big brother'. "Rome, is it true? Please be honest!" The larger man has pulled away from his thoughts as he heard Seth talking to him. "Roman?" He looked at his 'brother' with questioning eyes. "Sorry, Seth. What did you say? I didn't pay attention." Seth took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I figured that you're not paying attention. Because I tried to ask you a question about three times already. I asked you if it was true. Is it true? Be honest with me, please." Roman turned to look at him and said. "What are you talking about? What's supposed to be true? I don't get it. Did I miss a whole conversation? Seth, right now, you are not making any sense." The younger man started to get angry and smacked his palm onto his forehead. "Rome, seriously I want to know if that what Dean said yesterday is true. He looked so clear at that moment. Like he knew that what he said was the truth. I've never seen him so focused." 

The young Samoan coughed to clear his throat. "It is true. Don't you get . . . why I try to assure him that he can count on me? I feel so fucking guilty that I don't split my free time equally between you two, even though I know it hurts him. But he would never judge me for spending time with you because to him we are still brothers. It hurts me so much that I always try to make sure he knows I won't turn my back on him. That I am always gonna be there. That I'm not like his parents that just left him. His parents are the reason why he is terrified to be left behind. He is so scared to trust anyone because life never treated him too kind. You know all of that yourself. But Seth, you are still the only person I know who can calm Dean Ambrose down in an instant. I was just lucky yesterday . . . and I used an unfair weapon. Dean is hurting so bad and I don't know how to help him. Did you know that he hasn't smiled over a month now? Man, I want to see his smile again so bad. The mess with you and whatever he is not telling me, it’s killing him and seeing him like this, it's killing me! Do you have any idea what you did to all of us and to his already crumbled mind? Just because you left without telling us. Seth, you broke him completely. And I know you're hurting too. You are in pain because you're not honest with yourself and you miss us. I'm sorry but you need to know that, even if it hurts you." 

It wasn't like Roman to talk so much but he needed Seth to know. He needed him to know and to understand how bad it was and how guilty he felt. Roman needed his 'little brother' to understand that he was worried about Dean. "Sometimes I am scared of Dean. His eyes go all crazy and I fucking don't know if he'll jump in front of the next train or if he's going to slaughter the next dozen people in his way. But other times I am scared for him. Then his blue eyes are so far away that I think he is literally losing his mind and his soul is breaking in thousand pieces right in front of me. And there is nothing . . . nothing I can do about it. Do you have the slightest idea how much this is hurting me because I can't help him? It was always you, who could reach the depths of the difficult mind of Dean Ambrose. I feel so guilty and so helpless. That fucking sucks. Tell me, do you feel proud now that I told you I am not as good as you when it comes down to handle Dean? I will never be as close to him as you were and that is actually your fault. You did the same thing his parents did to him. You abandoned him. You left him behind. You broke his trust and I can't fix him." Roman took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Sorry Seth, I am being unfair. But it's so hard for me that I am not able to help one of my best friends." 

Seth was shocked. If it was true what his 'big brother' told him just about now, then it was far worse than he had expected. "You got to be kidding, Rome. You're telling me all of this because you are pissed, don’t you? That Dean isn't smiling anymore has to be a joke. He always smiles. God damn, he could smile his way out of trouble with that adorable dimples." Roman dragged one of his large hands over his face and sighed. "Seth, I never lied in my entire life and I wouldn't start right now. All of it is true. I am sorry for dropping the bomb in such an undiplomatically way. But I'm really worried about him. Something happened to him in the last two weeks. But he doesn't want to talk about it and it's scaring the shit out of me. How can we help him?" Seth stepped off the treadmill and tucked on Roman’s shirt. "That sounds fucking scary. I am sorry that I didn't see that you are in so much pain, Rome. Really, I am sorry. And I have to admit I didn't think that my decision would cause all of this. It sounds like Dean is trying to fight some sort of major issue. I never meant to cause so much sorrow and so many doubts for both of you. You have to believe that. I thought we will fight against each other and have fun with it. I would become part of the authority and you two would beat the hell out of Orton, Kane, and HHH. And eventually I would join you again and we screw Hunter over big time. But I was so wrong. I've never been so lonely in my life. Without you two. I miss being with my big brothers. In my mind, this was all easy going. We would spend time together on our days off and have fun, watch some games and be there for another. Damn, how could I be so wrong?" Seth covered his eyes with one of his hands and sniffed. 

Roman pulled him into a tight embrace and told him. "Shh, Sethie! Everything is gonna be okay. We will figure it out. We are the only ones, who are able to help us and to help Dean. Believe that!" Just like any other big brother would do. The bigger man petted his head and Seth remembered the scene from yesterday when Rome did exactly the same thing to Dean. He smiled and he knew that his big brother was right. If they wanted to feel better they have to help themselves and be honest with each other. But Seth was bothered by something else. "Rome, what did you mean with you were lucky and used an unfair weapon to calm him down?" The big man took a deep breath and thought very carefully about his answer. But he would never lie so he said. "You! You were my secret weapon, Seth. I told him that I know that he doesn't want to hurt you. Even if you don't believe me but Dean still cares a lot about you." Seth was shocked. Was this true? "That can't be true, Rome. He is still mad at me. Dean doesn't want us to be friends anymore. He asked me if I can turn back time so we'll never become friends." Seth started to sniff. Roman pulled him back in a tight hug and said. "Sethie, you know that this is not true. You know that he is not mad at you, he’s rather upset and disappointed. Calm down." Roman stroke his back and after a couple minutes he calmed down. He knew that his big brother was right again. 

When Seth looked up to Roman he saw that he was caught in some serious thoughts again but this time it looked like Rome wanted to share them. "Seth? You know Dean best. He said yesterday something to me that caught me off guard and I don't know what to think of it. It was so unlike Dean." The two friends looked into each other's eyes and Seth asked curiously. "What did he say?" The man with the mysterious grey eyes looked into the brown eyes of his friend and started to talk. "It was not just what he said. It was also the way he said it. So sad, so heartbroken. As if he really knew what he's talking about. I'm telling you those words are burnt into my mind and soul forever. I swear, Seth! He said to hold close the ones we love and don't take them for granted. Such words from that freaking adorable nut job. I will never forget the sadness in that blue depths." Seth chocked and needed to hold on to the wall behind him. WTF had happened in Ambrose's life? Why did he ever hurt that man so much? He never meant to cause all of this. And slowly he realized he was indeed the one to blame. He caused both men that he loved like brothers and even more, so much hurt and trouble. 

They didn't go back to their workout. They just walked back to Roman's car and sat there for a while. It was Seth who broke the silence. "Roman, I'm so sorry. I can see now that I am indeed the one who caused the whole mess. I didn't think that my act would cause such troubles." Roman looked at his little brother and told him in a shaky voice. "You're right but there is nothing you can do to change that anymore. But I hope you know that I am not mad at you. You want to reach your dreams at any costs. Sometimes I envy you. But I could never betray my friends as you did. I would never lie . . . ever. I think that this is the only reason why Dean believes me. He knows I can't and won't lie to anyone no matter if friend or foe." Roman saw that Seth started to shake and put one of his big hands on Seth's shoulder. "I don't want to hurt you but you need to know the truth. Dean is hurting and I am a fucking mess too and you're not being honest with yourself either. So I suggest that you do some serious thinking and call me when you know what you want." 

The younger man was shocked. "You know that I am hiding something from you. How? Is it that obvious? I'm so confused. I have so many different emotions to deal with. And some of them are scary as hell." The Samoan petted the younger man's head again and said. "You are one of my best friends and I can see that you are hurting and confused. Man, I love you like a brother just the same way I love Dean and I can see that he is in pain too. But I think I can actually help you and maybe when you are done hurting, we could help Dean." After a short silence Roman asked. "Do you want me to bring you home, so you can start thinking or do you want to come to my house?" Seth looked at his big brother and said. "Just take me home. You're right I need to think a lot. Thanks, Rome, love you too! “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you still like the story! Let me know!


	4. Not the way it's supposed to be!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All that Roman told him in the gym was too much. Seth is thinking about this whole chaos. What will happend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have fun reading it just like I had with writing the latest chapter.  
> Again thanks to Akasha for beta-reading, you are an angel. Hugs to you my friend.

The days went by and turned into weeks. Roman and Dean would fight together against whoever was up to challenge them. Dean would beat the heck out of Seth whenever he had a chance to do so. When the two-tuned men would walk down the ramp to compete, on his way to the locker room or in the parking lot. It didn't matter. But Seth could feel that there was a difference to all the other times before. Dean wouldn't hit him with all he's got. He'd just put on a great show, every single time. But his eyes. The brown-eyed man was horrified to see that these lovely blue shades were usually far away or pained. What had happened to his best friend? 

Seth didn't go out to celebrate with his co-workers anymore. He needed to get all the chaos in his head straight. He needed to decide what he wanted. For once he had to think about the consequences. He had to make sure that he wouldn't make it worse for his brothers. But seeing Dean changing into a hollow shell of his own self-hurts him more than he could tell. That Dean wasn't the same who Rome and he met all those years ago. Where did that freaking talented, totally crazy and absolutely adorable nut job go he loved so much? Finally, he admitted it! He wasn't scared anymore. At least he could admit it to himself now. Yes, he loved Dean or should he better say he was in love with him and he missed him like crazy. 

Roman said two weeks ago, he should call him if he figured out what he wanted. But he didn't have the strength to talk to his brother yet. He knew that he loved Dean more than a brother. He still didn't know if he wanted Dean to know that yet. Seth needed a little more time to think it over. The only thing he wanted to do was asking Dean if they could go over that dangerous stunt. So he called Roman one week before the main event which actually scared him more than anything else in his life before. The younger man called Roman because Dean wouldn't answer his calls. "Hey Rome, how are you? It's been a while." The grey-eyed man could hear that Seth didn't call because he finally made up his mind. Therefore Rome felt still too much pain in his little brother's voice. The Samoan didn't want to rush the young man so he said in a friendly voice. "Hey man, long time no see. I am great and how are you?" Seth smiled at his phone because he was sure that his brother knew he wasn't done thinking just from hearing his voice. "I am good, little tired maybe but okay. And I want to thank you for being such a great friend, Rome. You knew I didn't call to tell what's bothering my brain, didn't you? You are really one half of my best friends and the best big brother we could wish for. Love you, man." 

The larger man snickered. "Love you too, bro. But that is not why you're calling me. Am I right?" Now Seth needed to grin and spoke up in an honest tune. "You are so right. I call you because I need to talk about business to you." Roman pulled up an eyebrow and asked firmly. "Business? With me? How come?" The younger man hesitated and pressed his cell to his ear. "Actually I want to talk to Dean about the stunt. I would like him to explain to me how he wants to pull this off. But he wouldn't pick up his phone when I called him. So I thought you could arrange a meeting between us." He could hear his brother inhaling deeply and trying to swallow his anger. "Is that all you can think of right now? Seriously Seth, sometimes I don't believe the words that are coming out of your mouth. You didn't even ask me how Dean is doing. Is the business all you really care about? It feels like I don't know you anymore." Now Seth was mad at Rome who never had been so unfair and over the edge with him before. "Roman, I'm trying to be responsible here. If I don't know how to pull off that stunt the right way I might kill Dean. And I was going to ask you how he's been but you didn't leave me any chance. Did I catch you in a bad moment or so? If you want I can call you back later." 

The first couple words he yelled in his phone but he wanted the older man to know that he tried to do the right thing. "Seth sorry. I didn't mean to but you caught me off guard. The whole thing with Dean is getting worse and worse. He isn't smiling, he only talks when he has to, his eyes are so hollow and he stopped eating properly. He scares the shit out of me. And the only thing he keeps saying is that he wants to sleep. Just sleep the pain away. I don't know if he is really up to compete next week. He is just a walking puppet. I can't take this any longer. But I will talk to him that he needs to tell you how he wants to pull this stunt through." Seth was terrified. Dean . . . Dean played with his own life. And what pain did he want to sleep away? 

The thoughts in his head were running wild. Roman promised him that he would talk to Dean during their workout today. "I'll call you tonight to let you know if he'd agreed. See you soon, Seth." The young Samoan spoke after a short moment of peace and an audible breath. "One more thing, Seth. Would you please make up your mind? Your hesitation might cost Dean's life. You know that no matter what, you're my friend and I'll be there for you. But I don't know how long I can stand seeing him like this. Honestly, Seth, it's killing me. The pain is so fucking gruesome. I want him back!" The two-tuned man thought for a brief moment and heard his big brother fighting tears. But that couldn't be. It shouldn't be. It must not be that way. "Whom? Rome, who do you want back?" That question cut Roman like a knife. He started to yell. "Ahh, Rollins. I want to punch you in your smooth face so bad right now. I can't believe you. DEAN! I want my brother Dean back. The funny, and chaotic lunatic who I love so much. And maybe when it's not too much to ask then can I have my other little brother back at my side too? The one who is too smart for his own good and always sweet and caring." 

Maybe what was happening to Dean right now wasn't Seth's fault anymore. But he had a part in it because he made him vulnerable. Too vulnerable. "Sorry. I'm so sorry. But I actually refuse to believe that it's as bad as you say, Roman. Nothing can keep that guy down. Even if I have to admit his fighting changed a bit." Seth wasn't ready to let him know, that he was falling apart. All that he had heard was too much. Seth didn't want to know that Dean was hurting so badly because this way he could pretend that it was not too bad. But the emotions of his big brother were real. Much too real. Seth has never ever seen Mr. Powerhouse cry. Now the tall man with the grey eyes snapped. "How can you of all people say that? Don't you dare? Have you seen Dean at all this week? I have. I had to drive to his house last night and make sure he wouldn’t do anything he would regret. He cried himself to sleep, Seth. I wanted to comfort him but he wouldn't let me. He doesn't want to let anyone close to him anymore." The tall man hung up so quickly and the pretty face was left alone to think again. 

Seth didn't have a chance to respond. 'How could this be? Now my big brother is mad at me for the betrayal, too. And Dean, he wouldn't even let the grey-eyed caring brother be close to him. What have I done to Dean? How deep is that scare I caused? What pain wanted Dean to sleep away? Could I maybe help Dean to feel better?' The young man with the unique hairstyle locked his phone and started crying. He thought about everything he and his brothers had been through. That made him feel even worse. 'I gave up the 'perfect family' for a selfish plan and for my own good, to save my own ass. How can I make it right again? At least in our private lives.' It wasn't like it was supposed to be. Seth wanted his best friends back and he had to tell them and especially Dean why he turned heel on them without a word. He felt his cheeks blushing while he thought of telling the truth. But he needed them to know. He needed them to understand that he didn't have another chance to save all three of them. To get his mind off things, he pulled out his mp3-player and put on some running shoes. He locked the door behind him and ran and ran and ran. The young man knew his big brother would call around 6 pm. So he had plenty of time. He needed to kill time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter number 4. And do you get slowly that I am - in some ways -just a sick person? Emotionally damaged and kind of lost in my own world but guess what? I f**king don't care. I love my life and my friends even though I am still chasing my dreams. I hate people who tell me I need to stop writing because it's useless. They have nof**king clue, it's just like a therapy to me just like a good live concert and a great tattoo.  
> Hugs to you and a big thank you. :-*


	5. "Prinzipales and Truth"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today will be a hard day for Roman then he still is overwhelmed with the knowledge that Seth won't believe him. So he has to do something he dislikes very much.  
> What is he up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, you have fun reading the latest chapter.  
> Big hugs and kisses my sweety to Akasha for beta-reading, you are an angel. Hugs to you my friend.

Roman and Dean met up for their workout at the gym. When the long-haired giant saw his troubled friend coming he had to smile. Dean rode his bike for the first time in weeks and that should be a good sign. "Hey there Dee. You're taking care of the beauty again?" Dean showed his friend a weak smile. "She deserved a 'night out'!" They started the workout and the young Samoan was surprised in what shape Dean seemed to be. "Hey man, slow down! You haven't eaten that much lately. I don't want you to drop right in front of me." The man with the unruly hair looked at his brother. "What do you mean with I haven't eaten that much? I do eat. And just so you know, I had a decent breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast and a cup of coffee." Roman caught the annoying tune in his brother's voice. "Dean, I didn't want to offend you. But I saw that you didn't eat very much last week. Don't try to tell me otherwise. How are you by the way?"

The slightly younger man knew that he would fail at the attempt to prove his friend wrong about the food topic. And Roman was right he just couldn't eat a lot the past three days. That fucking pain. Why did he even bother? She never was there for him or cared about his feelings. Was there a time when she actually loved him? He couldn't remember. Everything was all blurry. "I am fi . . . I . . . fuck I don't know, Rome. Really I think I'm losing it. All I fucking want to do is sleep. Just sleep. It hurts so fucking bad. The thing I haven't told you yet and HE! Man, I miss him so much. I can't stop thinking about him. Sometimes I can't eat or sleep and it's even hard to breathe. I want him to be close and I want to be able to just let him know why I can't forgive him just like that. Do you think I'm stupid for still loving him so damn much?" Dean was quiet for a moment and after a deep breath, he kept going on. "But on the other hand, I am so freaking scared to let anyone close to me again. Sorry, Rome. I feel really guilty for yelling at you yesterday when you were trying to comfort me, bro. But I just couldn't stand the fact that you saw me so weak. I don't want to be like that anymore. That is the reason for the match on Saturday. I need a break for real. I want it to be over. Well, I just need time to think about everything. Steph said we would need an excuse for my long absence. So I thought if I fulfill Thie his wish, it would be a win-win solution." That was the most Dean had talked in a week and Roman tried to process all the information.

"Dean, would you stop for a second so I can follow. First. No need for an apology. You have every right to cry if you need to. And let me tell you something. Crying is not a sign of weakness. A strong person isn't the one who never cries. A strong person is one who sheds tears and cries for a while, then gets back up and fights again. I just want you to know that I would never think you're weak. Damn, Dee with everything you've been through, as far as I know, you're the strongest person I've ever met. Second. I don't think you’re stupid for being so unconditionally in love. You are just true to your feelings. That's pretty fucked up right now. But maybe we can fix it. And last but not least. What do you mean Steph said we need a reason for your absence? How long are you planning to take a break? Don't get me wrong take your time but I am going to miss you, bro. Maybe I should talk to Steph, so I get a chance to beat the heck out of Thie after he 'stomped' you in the ground. That would be fun and just because you brought the matchup yourself. You need to talk to Seth about it and not just one day before the actual fight. You know that, right?" Dean turned all white as he heard HIS full name and he looked his big brother in the eyes. "I know. Did he call you to tell me that he wants to meet me?" He exhaled audibly. "And about your question how long I am planning to take a break. At least a month, Rome. Because I can't do this anymore the way I do it right now. And I'm sorry for leaving you all by yourself with all the work. But would you promise me something, please?"

The tall handsome guy looked at his brother who seemed to be so reasonable today. "How did you know he called me to get you to meet him? But you are right, he did. Sorry when the memories of him are still hurting you." Dean looked with stunned eyes to the only person that could keep him sane these days. "I could see it in your eyes. Wow a month, I didn't expect to be all by myself that long. But I guess it will be good for you and the best thing you can do right now. But you are coming back, aren't you? And would you stop worrying about me, please? Everything is going to be ok. You're one of my best friends and I will always be there for you." During all the talking they actually finished their workout session.

Now they were standing in front of the water fountain. "Thanks, Roman. I know you won't let me down. Thie called me too but I didn't pick up. Would you tell him that I will meet him around 11.00 am tomorrow? And Rome, would you mind being there too, just in case? I would appreciate it." The young Samoan didn't have to think twice about it. "Sure thing, Dee! I will be there, just to make sure that you behave." Both men chuckled. "What do you need me to promise you?" The bigger man asked out of curiosity. "I don't mind you beating him up after our match. That actually fits the storyline perfectly. But would you promise me that you don't let emotions take over you? Sometimes you underestimate your own strength while you are full of emotions. Please, promise me, you won't hurt him too badly. Please!" Dean's eyes were focused on Roman's face so he wouldn't miss his reaction. "Dean, I never let emotions rule me. You should know me by now. But if it makes you feel better I promise I won't hurt him too badly." Dean still looked his brother in the face and he knew he had to explain his concerns. "Roman, I want you to give me that promise because I know you too well. You are always so passionate when it comes down to protecting your family. You . . . we've never been in that kind of situation. It will be the first time I will be carried away on a stretcher and you two know it won't be fake. Because I won't be conscious, I can promise you that. So please, promise me to keep your word and don't let your emotions take control.“

The tall man realized his brother and friend was right. He would do anything to protect his loved ones and Dean was certainly one of them. He was his brother and best friend and he loved him. "Man, you do know me very well. I promise that I won't let myself be controlled by my emotions at this moment and hurt him only as little as necessary. I give you my word, Dean. But you have to promise me something in return. Would you try not to get hurt too much? Please follow every safety rule that there is for that stunt. Promise me." Dean searched in his brother’s eyes for some room to debate but there wasn't any. "I'll try." Roman grabbed Dean's shoulder and shook him. "Not good enough. Come on, Dean. Give my mind some peace. Say you promise me." Now that the man with the blue eyes saw the worries in the taller man's eyes, he just gave in. "I promise you, Rome. And thanks again for taking care of me. Love you, bro!" Dean gave him a big hug and pulled out the key for his bike. "See you tomorrow, Dean. Love you too, bro. Take care." Dean took off with a sad smile and Roman was eager to get to his family.

Seth was losing his mind. Why hadn't Roman called him already? Was he still mad at him? Or was Dean a stubborn five-year-old with a temper? He was pacing back and forth in his living room and didn't pay attention to the TV. His thoughts were again all over Dean. The emptiness in his gorgeous eyes. The change in his fights. The reason for all his pain. Damn it! What had happened to Dean? How much of it was his fault? Would he be able to fix it ever again? Seth missed being with his brothers but he missed Dean especially. You only know what you gave up when it's finally gone. You appreciate all of it and you really know you are the one who screwed it up. Seth knew he left his happiness behind and caused both of his brothers the worst pain ever. And all of that just because he didn't tell the truth. Every two seconds he looked at his phone. Finally, it rang. It was almost 8 pm. "Seth, sorry for calling so late I got caught up with my family. I talked to Dean and he agreed to meet you at 11 am at the gym in the Pine Rd." The young Samoan heard his little brother taking a deep breath of relief. "Thanks, Rome, you are the best. Did you have a hard time to convince him that it is for the best if he would give me some advice?" His big brother seemed so calm but in some ways also worried. "No, I didn't need to talk him into that. He knew that you already called him. So he figured that you wanted to talk about the stunt. He agreed without making a fuss. But I need you to know that I will be there too. He doesn't trust himself anymore so he wants me to be there to watch out for him. I guess you're bringing Joey and Jamie, right?" Seth felt his heart breaking in his chest. What happened to the confidence of Dean and his cocky comments? "I guess. I can't get them to leave when Dean is that close. They really think he is crazy and out of his mind." Now he needed to smile. How could someone think that Dean lost his mind? He is just really good at his job. But to his surprise, Roman sighed. "They might be right. I did something today I thought I never had to. But I need to help him and you still know him best. I send you an audio file a couple minutes ago. It's not the whole conversation we had. But you said to me, you don't believe me how bad it is, so see for yourself! I will tell Dean that I send that to you after the match. Because you know I can't lie to save my life. So let's call it for tonight. See you tomorrow, bro. Take care. Bye."

Seth wanted to say something but he was all choked up. He forced Roman to betray his principles. He was really a fool to think his words wouldn't affect his grey-eyed big brother who would do anything to protect his family. He was so scared to check his phone for that file Rome had mentioned let alone listen to it. His hands were sweaty and his eyes burned from the tears that were already leaving them. His chest was so tight, it was so hard to breathe in that very moment. Did he really want to know? Was he ready to break down when he heard Dean's voice not spitting awful names at him? He didn't know answers to all of those questions except that he wanted to fix everything between himself and his brothers. And if that meant he had to listen to Dean telling Roman how he felt, then it had to be. He needed to be strong. He flipped his phone around and saw the little light flashing that told him he got a message. He unlocked it and opened the audio from his brother, who suffered so much, that he had to do it this way. The sneaky, dishonest way. Just because Dean was stubborn like a five-year-old and he was a coward with too much pride for not telling the truth. Although he didn't know what would happen, he pressed play on his phone and listened carefully to the conversation between his beloved brothers.

_"How are you by the way?"_   
_"I am fi- . . . I . . . fuck I don't know, Rome. Really I think I'm losing it. All I fucking want to do is sleep. Just sleep. It hurts so fucking bad. I miss him. Do you think I'm stupid for still loving him...? I am so freaking scared to let anyone close to me again. Sorry, Rome. I feel really guilty for yelling at you yesterday when you were trying to comfort me, bro. But I just couldn't stand the fact that you saw me so weak. I don't want to be like that anymore. That is the reason for the match on Saturday. I need a break like for real. I just need time to think about everything. Steph said we would need an excuse for my long absence. So I thought if I fulfill Thie his wish, it would be a win-win solution."_   
_"No need for an apology. You have every right to cry if you need to. Damn, Dee with everything you've been through, as far as I know, you're the strongest person I've ever met. I don't think you’re stupid... You are just true to your feelings… What do you mean Steph said we need a reason for your absence? How long are you planning to take a break? Don't get me wrong take your time but I am going to miss you, bro. Maybe I should talk to Steph, so I get a chance to beat the heck out of Thie after he 'stomped' you in the ground."_   
_"At least a month, Rome. Because I can't do this anymore the way I do it right now. And I'm sorry for leaving you all by yourself with all the work. But would you promise me something, please?"_   
_"Wow a month, but you are coming back, aren't you? What do you need me to promise you?"_   
_"I don't mind you beating him up after our match. That actually fits the storyline perfectly. But would you promise me that you don't let emotions take over you? You sometimes underestimate your own strength when you are full of emotions. Please, promise me you won't hurt him too badly. Please!"_   
_"I never let emotions rule me. You should know me by now. But if it makes you feel better I promise I won't hurt him too badly."_   
_"Roman, I want you to give me that promise because I know you too well. You are always so passionate when it comes down to protecting your family. You . . . we've never been in that kind of situation. It will be the first time I will be carried away on a stretcher and you two know it won't be fake. Because I won't be conscious, I can promise you that. So please, promise me to keep your word and don't let your emotions take control."_   
_"I give you my word, Dean. But you have to promise me something in return. Would you try not to get hurt too much? Please follow every safety rule that there is for that stunt. Promise me."_   
_"I'll try.“_

Seth had to swallow hard after he heard the last words that were too quiet. He had sweaty hands and he just realized that tears were rolling down his face at lightning speed. What the fuck? That couldn't be true. All the pain in Dean's and so many worries in Rome's voices. Now he knew it was bad. It was really bad and a big part of this was his fault. Dean wanted to take a break for a month or more. The question Roman had asked Dean in this part of the conversation was echoing in his head. 'But you are coming back, aren't you?' 'That can't be happening! Dean loves what he is doing but that sounded like a farewell for a long time. No, no, no, no! I have to make it up to him as soon as possible.' But how was he supposed to look his two brothers in the eyes after what he had heard? He knew sleep wouldn't come easily to him this night. If he could sleep at all. He had to tell them the truth. Seth knew that he might lose them forever but he had to try to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now I leave you alone and you can recover. Hugs to all of you and again tell me what you think of my little story.


	6. "Memories, the bitter and the sweet!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has come where Seth could be with his brothers again. Should he be as happy as he felt or should he be very careful?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I am laying sick around I can give you another chappy today.  
> A very special thanks to my friend Akasha for proofreading.

The next morning came way too fast. Just like Seth assumed he couldn't get rid of Joey and Jamie. They said to him they would do a bad job if they would let him go to be alone with his deadly enemy. He snapped at J&J because of the lack of sleep and his burning desire to be with his brothers. "Who do you think you are? You two don't know anything about Dean and Roman. They would never hurt me for real. They are very professional. We all know that this is our job." Jamie wanted to dissent. "But Seth . . ." The two-tuned man cut him off with a stern glance and said. "No buts, Jamie! If I can't make you leave so just come along. You can sit in a corner and watch us work. You're not allowed to speak without permission and you won't interfere in any situation. Did you get that?" The security nodded and let Seth know they respected his wish. Both were almost sure that nothing would happen. And they seemed to understand that it was very important to Seth to do that stunt the right way. The young men actually really liked Seth. He was a kind boss. They understood that the young man with the funny hair missed his brothers real bad. Jamie and Joey wanted to help Seth to make it right again even though Dean was giving him a hard time to apologize. For their boss, it was very important to get the stunt right because he didn't want to hurt his brother anymore. But Joey wasn't so sure if Dean would let that happen. He wouldn't call Dean unstable but definitely unpredictable. You couldn't plan for a guy like Ambrose and that was the reason why Joey was always on the alert when Dean was close. He didn't want Seth to get seriously hurt. But he also knew if he didn't obey, his boss would be really mad.  
They drove to the address Seth had given them and were shocked to see that wrecked gym. But as soon as they saw Seth's smile both of them relaxed a bit. The brown-eyed man took his gym bag out of the trunk and signified them to follow. Some painful memories washed over him as he walked into the old gym "The Shield" used to conquer. The three men heard loud laughter from the inside of the sports hall. The sight, that greeted Seth, let his heart skip a beat. His brothers were sitting on the floor of the ring all sweaty and laughing their butts off. "I told you, Rome. You can't beat me when I'm allowed to use my dirty tricks!" Dean smiled and he looked like a happy kid. Roman had to hold his stomach because he laughed so hard. "Ha, ha . . . you really did it. But tell me how you're going to call that move. 'Side-splitting'? Because I can't do anything but laugh right now." The lunatic felt so light like he hadn't felt in months. He looked at his 'big brother' and needed to smile again. "They call me unstable but don't you think they should call me unpredictable? Because I caught you off guard, right? Ha, Ha!" Seth saw that Rome was really happy to see one of his best friends smiling again. "Dean, thanks. Thank you for smiling again. Finally, you're smiling again. That you hadn’t smiled anymore was breaking my heart, dude." Dean looked his very serious friend in the eyes and tugged him close to his chest. "I am sorry, big guy. I didn't mean to hurt you." Roman put his arms around his brother and shook his head. "It's okay, bro." Seth swallowed the lump in his throat. He put one of his hands over his heart because he thought it would break right there. The picture of his brothers in this very intense moment was just way too cute but it also hurt so much.

He was torn between screaming in agony or join his brothers with a big smile. He remembered the audio-message from Roman. His heart broke again! He promised himself after the match with Dean, he would make it up to his best friends. He had to tell them the truth and had to hope they would or could forgive him for what he did. For now, he pulled himself together and greeted the men in the ring with a faked smile. But sometimes these are the bravest smiles we offer to the people we love. So they wouldn't have to hurt even more . . . "Hey you two, good morning. What is so funny? We could hear you outside." But Seth couldn't know that no matter what . . . when Dean hears his voice he is in pain but also lost in desire. As soon as he spoke the smile on Dean's face died and his eyes were filled with pain for a moment. It was Roman, who put a hand on his shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Dean turned to his big brother and also said something too quiet for Seth to hear and both of his brothers started to laugh again. Dean looked at Seth still with pain in his eyes. "You need a tour or do you remember where the locker room is?" That question was delivered with a cocky grin on his lips and Seth believed that Dean was really in a good mood. All of them knew it was because of the location. It was their favorite place to be and hang out in the good old days. Seth and Roman hoped that Dean's mood would stay a while like this. He was more reasonable when he was in a good mood and he could understand their point of view easier. "No tour needed if they didn't remodel the whole place." Seth smiled Dean's favorite grin as he took off to the locker. Dean put his head on Rome's shoulder for a moment and J&J saw that the taller man talked in a soothing voice to his friend.

As Seth came out of the locker room he was greeted with a picture painted by angels. There was a shirtless Dean Ambrose and a Roman Reigns without a vest, just wearing a really tight fitting tank top. He felt his jaw drop to the floor and he had to absorb the sight of it. His two favorite people in the world were setting up everything for the stunt practice. He walked closer and could feel Jamie’s and Joey's eyes burn a hole in his back. He wasn't scared at all as he saw that his brothers were looking up at him and smiled. "I could have helped you with the preps. But it looks like you are done already." Roman put his arm around his shoulder, pulled him closer and reminded him. "You need to concentrate on the details of the stunt so you hurt Dean as little as possible. So don't worry about anything else." Dean looked at his two favorite people in the world and was fighting the urge to pull both of them into a warm embrace. He missed days like this so much. "Rome is right if you don't pay attention I might be paralyzed or even worse." He smirked at his brothers as the lunatic was joking but the fear on their faces was priceless. "D-Dean, don't say things like this. I am scared enough that I'll hurt you too much. So please, please don't be reckless like always." Seth was just too cute when he was trying to convince someone to do what he wanted them to do. 

Roman and Dean always said that was the only reason why they did what Seth asked them to do and because they were brothers. "Stop it, Thie! We're going to be fine. I am just joking." Rome spanked him hard in the back of his head. "Ouch, Rome! What was that for?" Dean asked innocently and was greeted with the furious eyes of his big brother. "This is not funny, Ambrose. Not at all. Can't you tell that you're putting Sethie under too much pressure? If he fails that stunt then that's your own fault. So stop that childish behavior and be a little more serious about your own life, would you? If you don't care if you die I can blow out your candle right now." Seth stepped between his brothers. He remembered Rome's words on the phone yesterday. He was here to watch out for Dean and now he was the one being all light headed. The young Samoan was right in Dean's face and he was angry with him. "Rome, don't be angry with him. He is just joking. Dean loves his life and he just wants to make me mad. He won't play with his life. So calm down, big brother." He looked at Dean and said with a smile. "Am I right, Dee? You didn't want to make Rome angry and you're not playing with your life." After all those weeks while they were just beating the crap out of each other, finally . . . Dean finally pulled Seth into a hug and smirked. "You are right, Thie. Sorry Rome, I was just messing with you two. You should have seen your faces. Just priceless. Ha-ha! But now let's get to work. So stop being mad at me, it was a joke." He squeezed Seth for a blink of an eye as close as possible and smiled Seth's favorite smile. The one which showed off his adorable dimples all the way. 

Roman looked at his best friends and gave them a big hug. "Are you ready? So listen to me!" Dean pulled a dummy which wore his tank top from behind the table and placed him on the cinder blocks. He explained to Seth and Roman that Kane would hold him there in place after Seth gave him a 'peace of mind' on the announce table. After that, he had to 'stomp' him through the cinderblocks without or just a little bit of hesitation. Dean explained to them, that the angle of his head and the place where Seth's boot would hit him were the most important things. It would make all the differences of how badly he would be hurt. The man with the unruly hair grabbed a red pen and drew a circle on the head of the dummy to show Seth where he had to connect his boot to his head. They went through the stunt a couple of times. They also discussed what they would do during the match. It was like in the old times. Seth and Dean clicked instantly . . . like they used to. You could say they were wrestling soulmates. It was still there and it felt awesome. And in the end, all of them were sweating and had sour muscles but they were so happy like they all haven't been in weeks. It was almost like it used to. As Seth looked over to Jamie and Joey he snickered and signified his brothers to look at them. They were so relaxed after they saw that the three men really were focused on the things, that would take place on Saturday, that the two securities had fallen asleep. Roman wiped his forehead and pulled his two brothers closer. "Let's finish up and give J&J some more time to rest. We know it can be a pain in the ass to be your babysitter. We need to clean up here and then we can hit the very welcomed shower.“

It was one of the good days for Dean. He had really enjoyed the day with his family. He knew tonight he wouldn't need a drink. There was nothing he wanted to forget about today even though it hurts to be so close to Seth and at the same time so far away. He wouldn't want to waste the few good memories he got. He would make it till Saturday and then finally he would sleep for a day. Seth was on his way to cloud 9. He was able to be with Dean after all those beatings. He had the chance to talk to him and to touch him and Rome was just the big caring teddy bear he has always been. That was a really good day that he would hold dear in his mind. Dean's smile, Rome's protective instinct and all the fun in the ring. It was so nice to have this again. The two-tuned man would always remember this day. Roman couldn't stop smiling. It was one of the days he just would never forget. It felt so good, so right to have his brothers back. And to see Dean smiling for the first time in months and Seth just being his real self today, it was the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> Your comments and kudos are like sweets so may I have a treat.


	7. "One disaster coming up"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is Roman so anxious on the phone? Will Dean be there for his big brother? And where the hell is Seth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt a bit better today, so I got some work done. Thanks to all of you for reading my stuff. Hugs to you guys are the best.  
> And hugs to Akasha who has to deal with my mind so much. Thanks, sweety. :-*

The days went by and the day of the big match came closer and closer. It was Thursday, only two days away from the match as Dean's phone rang and he had the feeling there would be some bad news. "Dean, Dean! Man, I don't know what to do or who else to call. I know you probably want nothing more than to be by yourself right now. But you're the only one I can ask a favor without feeling weak." Roman's voice was all shaken up and he seemed to be really worried. "Rome, calm down. Take a deep breath, bro. And now tell me what happened and what you need me to do? And don't worry!" Panic wheeled up in Dean. That was so unlike Rome. He was always so damn calm. So calm that he sometimes was pissed off by his big brother and his ability to be always the responsible one. The guy who always thinks first before he acts. "Dean, it is b-a-d, really b-a-d. I need to take Lisa to the H-o-s-p-i-t-a-l! I can't talk freely right now because Leila sits on my lap and I don't want to scare her. It's also better if she doesn't see her m-o-m-m-y like this either. I can't get a hold of our babysitter and Seth is not picking up his phone. So you're my last hope. Would you mind watching Leila for a while, please? I wouldn't bother you if I had another choice." The blue-eyed man understood what his big brother went through at that moment. But he didn't understand why he made such a big deal out of asking him to watch his favorite niece in the world. "Roman, I can't believe you actually thought I would turn you down. I would never ever do that. Of course, I will watch the little princess. I will be there in 15 minutes." He heard his brother exhaling in relief. "Thanks, bro. You’re the best. See you in a bit.“

They hung up and Dean grabbed the little pink helmet with a princess in the back. He put on his leather jacket and grabbed his own dusty black helmet. Today he had to be the responsible one and show his brother that he was able to behave like a real grown up. He got on his bike and was on his way to Roman's house. He felt a little nervous about what he should say to his big brother. But like always he would figure it out just in time. Roman was sitting on the front porch and held a baby phone in his hand. The speaker was set up right next to the love of his life. Leila was bouncing up and down in front of the fence on the porch. "Uncle Dee, Uncle Dee! I'm going to spend some time with him, right Daddy? He is my babysitter for today. Because you and mommy need to go somewhere. Yeah, Uncle Dee." Roman looked his precious girl in the eyes and saw nothing but happiness, excitement, and joy. And he realized that his daughter missed her uncles just as much as he missed his brothers. "Yes, princess. You get to spend some time with Uncle Dee. Are you happy that you can see him again? He hasn't been here for a while now." The little girl with the dark hair and the grey eyes turned around and smiled the widest smile her father had ever seen. "Yes, I am very happy. I miss Uncle Dee and Uncle Thie just like you daddy. They haven't been here for sooooo long." By the word 'so' she spread her arms as far as her little body would let her. And now Roman had to smile at his smart little girl who knew exactly how he felt. He was about to say something as they heard a motorcycle in the driveway. To the young Samoan's surprise, his brother was wearing a helmet. "Hey there, you two." Dean greeted them with a big smile. He waved at Leila. "Hello princess. Holy heaven, you got so big compared to the last time I saw you. You are really becoming a young lady." The little girl looked up to her father with questioning eyes. Roman smiled and nodded. In that second his daughter ran down the stairs and flung herself in the arms of her prince, her babysitter for today. "Uncle Dee! I missed you!" After Dean had caught her and scooped her up in his arms, she put her little arms around his neck and gave him a little kiss-kiss on his nose and asked with a mischievous smirk on her lips. "Did you miss me too?“

Dean saw that his big brother was torn between the obviously cute scene his daughter and his brother shared and the urge of putting his wife in the car and take her to get the help she needed. "I did, princess. How about we go to the playground? We could ride the 'horse' over there, I brought your helmet. What do you think?" The eyes of that little girl grew bigger and bigger. "Yes, yes I want to ride the 'horsy' with you and I want to go to the playground!" Leila was about to climb on the 'horse' when Dean looked at her and smiled. "Princess, you do need to grab a jacket if we gonna ride the 'horse'. You know that the wind will be chilly. Did your daddy pack a bag for you?" The five-year-old girl looked up to the porch. "Where did daddy go? Did mommy wake up? She is not feeling well." The blue-eyed man shrugged and petted her head. "Leila, could you wait on the porch for me. I will talk to your daddy. And have an eye on the 'horse', I don't want it to run off. Just tell him now and then to stand still." The dark-haired girl nodded and smiled like she was very amused by her uncle. She grabbed Dean's leg and hugged it tightly with a smile. She loved it when Uncle Dee played along with her and pretended his motorcycle was a horse and he was her prince.

Dean opened the door to Roman's house after he petted Leila on her head and saw him carrying Lisa down the stairs. She looked really sick and very weak. The young Samoan placed her on the couch. He looked like he didn't know what to do. Dean could see that his big brother was totally stressed out. He walked two steps up to Rome and pulled him in a tight hug. "Rome, calm down. Take a deep breath. You don't have to worry about Leila, we gonna have a blast. You need to take Lis to the nearby hospital. Do you have her insurance card? You can pick up some clothes and a towel later. First, she needs to be treated. Do you need help putting her in the car?" The tall man did as he was told and took a deep breath. It actually helped him. Lisa mustered up all the strength she could and raised her voice. "Romeo, its fine. You're doing everything the right way. You got someone special to take care of Leila and now you're bringing me to the doctors. I think it's just a food poisoning. Everything is going to be okay, honey. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. And Dean, thank you. Take good care of my baby and watch out for my hubby." Now both men were moved by the words of Roman's wife. "Okay, Dean. Here is Leila's backpack. There is everything in there you two are going to need. Her jacket is right next to the door. Call me if you need anything. So, baby, I love you too. More than my own life. Let's put you in the car and get going. So you will get better very soon. And Dean thanks again." His big brother set his priorities and focused on the most important thing now which is getting his wife to see a doctor. Dean opened the door to the garage as the so-called 'Romeo' carried his 'Juliet' to the car. "Bro, don't you worry about us. We will have fun and I will bring her to bed if I have to, you know that. Lis, taking care of your baby is my pleasure and I will watch out for Rome just like I always do. And you got to focus on getting better, so the worry-wrinkles disappear on his forehead. Love you all. So you need to get going and I have to take care of my princess." Dean patted Lisa's arm and smiled. After that, he pulled Rome in a tight hug and told him encouraging words. "You can do it. She is going to be okay real soon. Now move it, bro." All that the young Samoan could do was hug back. He was so grateful to his brother and he knew he owed him something. "Thanks, Dee! You are the best." Roman hit the remote for the garage door and Dean closed the door to the garage.

He went over to the entrance to pick up Leila's backpack and her jacket. When he moved out to the porch he was all caught up in the scene that greeted him. Leila was standing in front of his bike that he had parked right next to the stairs and told him. "Horsy, don't you move. We don't want you to get lost. Uncle Dee will be here any minute and then you can 'run' fast like the wind." Dean needed to snicker. He was instantly reminded why he missed that little girl so much. Because she was just a happy kid and didn't know anything about pain. Just the small and big worries of a five-year-old and all that Dean wanted, was to keep it that way. He would break his back to keep that little girl from any harm and worries. He refused to let her re-live his own crappy childhood. The childhood, not even his two best friends and brothers knew about. Because it pained him too much to think about let alone to talk about it. "Hey there, princess. I see you took good care of my horse. Ready to go?" Leila looked up at her prince for the day and smiled a huge smile. With a pretended deep voice she invoked her father. "I am as ready as I can be."

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you, it will get worse and than worst . . . after that, it gets better.  
> Sorry for the wrong punctuation, I am not a native speaker. I know it's a lame excuse.  
> Hugs to all of you.


End file.
